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I heard a report of a store robbery this morning and the description of the perpetrator sounded very familiar – dark clothing, dark beanie hat, you know the drill. As I heard it I discarded the remote possibility that there is one man or a small group that use that outfit as their signature in committing these felonies. This led me to a new conclusion (I’m amazed nobody has thought of this before) – the availability of dark clothing, especially dark t-shirts and dark beanie hats, induces people to commit robberies.
We should make the production and sale of those clothing items illegal and remove the temptation to commit these robberies.
13 replies on “We Should Make That Illegal”
Very nice 🙂
Thanks – I always like to provide a fresh idea 😉
But what about white-collar crime? All white shirts will also have to be made illegal.
I think it is totally unfair to single out dark colored clothing and not light colored clothing. It is not the fault of the dark colored clothing–those clothes are just victims of the corporate masses that used dye in the process of making them and it is our responsibility to educate those clothes and if things are not fair to those clothes, then we need to take the profits from the companies that make dark colored clothes and help them become better clothes.
I don’t think that educating the clothing will make a difference – what we are up against here is human nature which makes us prone to committing violent crime when wearing dark clothing – especially dark t-shirts and beanie caps.
I do think you have a point about white collar crime though. We should make the sale of white dress shirts illegal – especially when combined with ties. These have the effect on the human psyche of making us feel powerful and untouchable which makes us prone to committing crimes such as financial fraud and money laundering.
“Guns don’t kill people…I do!” Lol! Thanks for posting!
Well, I fully agree that it is the dark clothing that is tempting those criminals to commit the crime. And I should not have been making light of the clothing when the reality of the situation is that if we just eliminate the availability of dark-colored t-shirts and beanies then crime would be significantly reduced.
And from my left-wing Anointed perch, I realize that because I am much smarter than most people, I know better what is needed. Therefore, I propose a 100% windfall profits tax on the profits from those dark t-shirts and beanie caps be used to fund an educational program to help those criminals learn how not to give into the temptation of buying dark colored clothing. Since it is ultimately the fault of those companies that make the dark colored clothing, they should pay. Although I am concerned about any potential impact on unions whose workers make such clothing.
Now, learning from experience, I also propose that we outlaw dark-colored t-shirts and beanies from being sold in stores, but we also know that corrupt individuals will start selling dark-colored t-shirts on the “black market”. Therefore, anyone caught wearing dark-colored t-shirts and/or beanies could be charged a minimum fee (that is, unless they have income below 130% of the poverty level). Funds from these fees could administer programs and further educate those poor criminals on how to make better decisions. But, if they continue to make the decision to commit a crime, we will just have to provide additional funds so they can become better educated, provide them job opportunities, as well as provide free health care until they learn not to buy the dark-colored t-shirts and beanies.
When we do this, we will almost completely eradicate crime. Well, all crime except white-collar crime.
I just care more about people than others!
Comprehensive crime prevention reform – I love it.
Now this is a bi-partisan solution!
This is pretty good, both the original post and the comments. Love it.
Now hang on a second. I think you’re missing the fact that dark clothing is only implicated in _many_ of the crimes. The common thread here is not dark clothing, but clothing in general. We need to ban the sale of _all_ clothing, and then we’ll do away with white-collar crime, too.
Banning all clothing would lead to some other problems so I think we should stick to banning the most dangerous forms of clothing – dark casual wear and white dress shits with ties.
There are going to be alot of missionaries who like the idea of banning white shirts and ties. But Mr. Mack will go out of business in a hurry! They still have those in Utah, right?
Last I checked they do. I had not thought about the impact on missionary wardrobes. Since this would only be in the U.S. Missionaries serving internationally would have to outfit themselves after leaving the states and missionaries stateside would have to have a new dress code – I wonder what that would look like.